The Eldest Daughter Effect

The Eldest Daughter Effect shows how firstborn women and girls became the accomplished, dependable, wonderful rocks that we are.

Many of the world’s most successful women are firstborns. Taylor Swift, Arianna Huffington, Christine Lagarde, Gwyneth Paltrow, JK Rowling, Lady Gaga, Oprah Winfrey and Sheryl Sandberg to name just a few. Their success didn’t come overnight. It is the result of dedication and hard work, of a forward drive they share as they feel the responsibility to offer the world the best they’ve got.

Eldest daughters are expert organizers of people and events as we have learned from a young age to take the lead.

We feel responsible and we do what we commit to. With our overview of what’s needed, we’re likely to take matters in hand to the delight of others, who know that things will not only be done, but done well.

The non-stop sense of responsibility may also get in the way. Overcommitment can become a daily reality and others may rebel against the bossiness that we’re not always aware of. A deep dive into our default position brings greater freedom as we practice making informed choices – and saying ’no’.

Eldest daughters will gain greater self-awareness through this book that also helps parents and siblings understand the firstborn of the family better.

Lisette Schuitemaker and Wies Enthoven struck up a friendship long before they discovered they were both firstborns. Since they began to look at their similarities through the eldest daughter lens, the Dutch authors have become aware of deep underlying patterns that they share with millions of other firstborns – and who often find their best friends are eldest daughters, too!

“What a relief to recognise myself in so many others!” Participant of the 2023 Eldest Daughter Retreat

“Childless Living is an ode to discovering and celebrating the joy of life no matter the choices, circumstances and challenges we face when our desire for parenthood is in question--and questioned by others.”

“Lisette Schuitemaker offers a radical reformulation of what is described, in many cultures, as ‘a curse,’ or ‘lacking,’ or ‘a barrenness.’ She hugely expands our understanding of generativity as a choiceful and joyful embracing of what circumstance or biology seemingly imposes upon all women. Highly recommended.”

“So many girls and young women are still growing up in a culture of assumed motherhood. This important book helps us take an important step toward an egalitarian world where we are free to decide not only what’s best for ourselves but also what’s best for the planet--and each other.”

“Childless Living is like reading the story no one has ever asked me to tell about my childless self--through the four seasons of my life.”

“With flowing vibrancy, a light touch, and thorough inquiry, the author brings new possibility to the tender path of living childless. Read it and be nourished and inspired.”

“This book shows us that whether or not we give biological birth to children, if we live our lives with purpose we give birth in many other ways--to creative ventures as caregivers, custodians, nurturers, encouragers, inspirers, role models, and even soul models.”

“As a single woman, viewing my own life choices and experiences in the larger frame of ‘childless living,’ this book gives me greater confidence, courage, and conviction in my own life journey … knowing that there is a larger solidarity.”